A spiritual
plateau is a place of rest.
A spiritual plateau tests the seekers resolve.
A spiritual plateau can be a place of great spiritual growth.
A journal of one man's path toward spiritual enlightenment by physical
and mental purity, fasting, raw food diet, few words, natural living,
good works, right thinking, and exhilaration of the mind
by following the guidance of the Inner Voice.
Please,
see "Home" for more information
PETE'S JOURNAL, March 2004
www.seekeronline.org
3-12-04
Had a vision today... just a few seconds long. It was like a dream...
I was in my body... very thin... and I had this intense feeling of peace
and gentleness.
This vision must have been a glimpse of my true Christ self... I long for that reality!
3-20-04
Since the end of January this year I have been on this terrible barren
spiritual plateau. I don't feel like writing, praying, talking or listening
to my Inner Voice, nothing... I feel very depressed. Don't misunderstand
me... I am on the path... I will never give up. My Inner Voice tells me
every day that I am the Christ, that I am perfect and divine... whole.
Intellectually I know this is true... I just don't feel it at all... I
feel like a complete failure.
One of my major failings is that I am so arrogant that I won't listen or obey my Inner Voice... the Voice of God within. After my long fast this last year (2004) my Inner Voice suggested that I walk at least two miles or more every day. I ignored the suggestion, feeling that I was doing all I could... I felt guilty... I tried to hide from God.
Anyway, in mid-July (2004) I got out of bed one morning and I couldn't walk... my left knee was on fire, extremely painful, and wouldn't support my weight. I found out later that I had a case of severe arthritis that comes on suddenly.
When I was a young man I was riding a horse along a paved road... the horse shied from a piece of blowing paper and jumped out on the pavement... the horses feet shot out from under it and the whole weight of the horse dropped on my left leg. No bones were broken but I was black and blue from head to foot.
After the attack of arthritis I was on crutches for three
weeks or so and in a great deal of pain for several months. I'm still
limping around today... and depressed because of the loss of mobility.
Every step is painful... a painful illusion.
Now, God did not punish me for not listening and not walking as suggested.
God is all powerful and all-knowing and always sees His/Her creations
as perfect. The way I see it, God knew I was creating a physical problem
for myself in my earthly illusion and gave me a way out in advance...
"walk and exercise that knee." My Inner Voice did not say that
in so many words but said, "walk at least two miles a day."
God is not going to give His power, physical-spiritual freedom and enlightenment to anyone who will not follow the advice of their Inner Voice, obey His laws and give up the illusion of the personal self. Pain and dis-ease are the creation of man... an illusion... of the personal self... unknowingly, trying to prod himself/herself back toward the realization of the Soul... the Christ of God. Pain is not God's creation or punishment for man's sin (so called)... pain is the result of man's guilt in trying to hide from God.
In the illusion of the "personal self" we think we are an "individual" separate from God and that we are the center of "our" world and the Universe. Man created this illusion of separation... and the guilt, and the pain... to help lead himself back to union with God.
God is all there is! I am the Christ... I am one with God. Oh Lord, help me to realize this truth. Amen.
3-22-04
Since I having a such bad time now I feel the need to remind myself what
Patanjali says about spiritual plateaus.
"Sickness, mental laziness, doubt, lack of enthusiasm, sloth, craving for sense-pleasure, false perception, despair caused by failure to concentrate and unsteadiness in concentration: these distractions are the obstacles to knowledge."
"When an aspirant enters upon the spiritual life, he naturally does so with great enthusiasm. The first steps he takes are almost always accompanied by feelings of peace and delight. Everything seems easy, so inspiring. It is therefore very important that he should realize right from the start, that this mood will not continue, uninterrupted, throughout the rest of his course."[Spiritual life and search]
"Religion is not simply a state of euphoria. There will be relapses; phases of struggle, dryness, and doubt. But these ought not to distress him unduly. Conscious feelings, however exalted, are not the only indications of spiritual progress. We may be growing most strongly at a time when our minds seem dark and dull. So we should never listen to the prompting of sloth, which will try to persuade us that this dullness is a sign of failure. There is no failure as long as we continue to make an effort."
From: How To Know God-The yoga aphorisms of
Patanjali, Book I
# 30; translated with a commentary by, Swami Prabhavananda and Christopher
Isherwood.
3-31-04 The white pigeon is still with us... does a lot of cooing now. Hope to cross this spiritual plateau soon. I am on the path. I AM the Christ... I AM one with God. Hopefully, I soon will be across this barren spiritual plateau.
