1-1-02
Happy New Year. Today I begin a long juice fast.

Day #1 of juice fasting. Feeling well. My inner Voice has suggested that I repeat over and over, "I Am the Christ" as often as possible to bring that thought forward in my mind. So that, the Christ, is the first thing I think about in any circumstance.

It seems to me as I start thinking, "I Am the Christ" it is spoken by my usual mental voice and then my inner Voice soon takes up the chant. My usual mental voice must be the voice of my personality, my ego self that separated from God, and my inner Voice is the voice of my true self, the Christ.

As I start my affirmations the voice of my personality seems subdued and almost reluctant to say, "I Am the Christ" but when my inner Voice takes over, that voice is full and vigorous. It seems the personality knows that it is lying and that my inner Voice knows it is speaking the truth. When the inner Voice says, I Am the Christ, it knows that it is the Christ, and that Christ is my true self. I AM that I AM.

Jesus said that prayer and affirmations help focus the mind: "Students can use them to bring their thoughts in accord with Divine Principle or, as many say, to train their thoughts to one point." If a person can remember every minute that they are the Christ this knowledge will soon govern every thing they think, say and do. When a person can remember, then they can think it and soon they will be able to do it... express the Christ outwardly with confidence.

My inner Being, my Holy Spirit, is very gentle with me. It does not coerce or force me to do anything. My inner Voice agreed in the beginning of our relationship not to speak to me unless I spoke to It first, or in an emergency. I was very happy the other day when I was gabbing away with a neighbor, my inner voice spoke up and said, "Remember who you are." Many references refer to the Holy Spirit as the comforter. Comforting those that had separated themselves from God.

I have been working with my inner Voice for a year now and have finally come to the full realization that It is my true self. I am now willing to humbly submit myself to this Holy Being which inhabits this body with my personal self.

"And he arose, and did eat and drink, and went in the strength of that meal forty days and forty nights unto Ho'-reb the mount of God." [He fasted for forty days and nights.]

"And he came thither unto a cave, and lodged there; and, behold, the word of the Lord came to him, and He said unto him, What doesn't thou hear,
E-li'-jah?"

"And he said, I have been very jealous for the Lord God of hosts; for the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away."

"And He said, go forth, and stand upon the mount before the Lord. And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind rent the mountains, and brake in pieces the rocks, before the Lord; but the Lord was not in the wind: and after the wind an earthquake; but the Lord was not in the earthquake."

"And after the earthquake a fire; but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice." 1 Kings 19:12 [And this was the Voice of the Lord.] [Bold emphasis mine.]

It seems that the Holy Spirit does not require a persons attention all the time, or even much of the time, leaving the gift of free will intact. A reference that would support this idea, is found in the, Essene Gospel of Peace, Book I, where Jesus says, "And now I speak to you in the living tongue of the living God, through the Holy Spirit of our Heavenly Father." So before Jesus said that, he must have been speaking as just, 'Jesus the man', who had free will to say what he would, from his own experience.

1-2-02
Day #2 of juice fasting. Still feeling well. Full elimination does not start until about the third day of a long juice fast. Some times I feel very ill by then and other times it's not so bad. Juice fasting is really a self induced illness, which cleanses the body, cures dis-ease, and prepares the Holy Temple for the living God.

Again, I want to caution anyone walking a spiritual path that starts hearing voices, whether they are voices of a great Master, spirits of the dead, Angels, or the inner Voice of the Holy Spirit, be careful who you tell this to, because in this society, hearing voices is insanity. Be particularly careful about mentioning hearing voices to family members and friends, because they feel like they have the right to protect you from your insanity; and counselors, mental health people and medical doctors will lock you up in a flash for observation.

Also, if you do not feel confident about hearing a voice or voices, and you catch yourself saying things like, "I must be going crazy" then maybe you are, so it's time to back off and rethink what you are doing. Unless you are rock solid mentally, dealing with inner voices may cause you a lot of mental and emotional problems. I have heard that if you are living "to high" spiritually one way to come down is to eat a steak and drink a shot of whiskey every day. If you need to talk to someone about hearing voices, talk to another seeker.

1-3-02
Day #3 of juice fasting. Yesterday evening I started feeling like I was coming down with the flu. I soaked in a warm Epsom salts bath for about a half an hour and rubbed my muscles down with a vibrator. Felt a lot better. I have been drinking 4 glasses of fresh squeezed orange juice a day and lots of water.

I began having quite a few weird thoughts last evening as cleansing started in earnest. This always happens when toxic matter is released into the blood and is nothing to worry about, just something to be endured. I just try and avoid these thoughts by praying, saying affirmations, reading or working on the computer.

I also forgive myself and others for the actions that caused these bad memories, using the same method I mentioned before, "I forgive myself for that and now I don't have to think about it anymore." Amen. (So be it.) Feeling pretty rough this morning.

"If man would come to know the greater stranger... himself... let him enter his own closet and shut the door. There he will find his most dangerous enemy, and there will he learn to master him. He will find his true self. There he will find his truest friend, his wisest teacher, his safest adviser... himself. There he will find the altar upon which God is the undying fire, the source of all goodness, all strength, all power... himself. He will know that God is in the deepest part of the silence."

"He will find that within himself abides the Holy of Holies. He will feel and know that his every desire is in God's mind and is therefore God's desire. He will feel and know the closeness of the relationship of God and man, the Father and the Son. He will realize that only in consciousness has there been any separation of these which have seemed two... just as his spirit and his body have seemed to be two... but which in reality are one."

As Jacob said, "This [body] is none other but the house of God and this is the gate to heaven."

"God is within the Soul as wisdom, love and truth... and is brought out into form, or expression, through consciousness. [Thought action of the mind.] According to your faith be it unto you. All things are possible to them that believe."

From: The Life and Teaching of the the Masters of the Far East

1-4-02
Day #4 of juice fasting. Feeling a bit rough. Went to see computer tutor about web page. We are about ready to publish. Subject index finished.

What does it mean, "If man would come to know... himself, let him enter his own closet and shut the door." [door(s) to the senses] It literally means to find a quiet place where none of your senses are disturbed and close your eyes and look and listen to your inner world. This is a type of meditation. Closing your eyes and becoming quiet.

You should be relaxed, sit up straight with your hands in your lap, close your eyes, and calm your mind and emotions. I usually begin by taking a few deep breaths, sitting quietly for few moments and then say the Lords Prayer. You can pray, say affirmations, ask blessings for others, or talk to God, which all have a calming affect on the mind. There are no rules.

If for some reason you are afraid, ask your Guardian Angels to protect you. There is nothing to be afraid of. Then sit quietly. Thoughts will pass through your mind, don't hold on to them, just note there nature, and let them go. The same with visual pictures. You can think about this stuff later, for now, just keep your mind and emotions calm. Don't go to sleep. If you get really sleepy, take a nap and meditate later.

The above only takes a few minutes. You will find your own pace with a little practice. Now remind yourself, that God holds you in his mind as the perfect being that He created... The Christ. "I am the Christ, God's perfect creation." We have always been perfect beings, but we have created imperfection and illusion through our wrong thinking. This is what this is all about, to break the habits of our old conditioned thinking patterns, our world view of things, and re-condition your mind to the truth. And, that truth is that we are one with God... The Christ... just as he created us.

You had nothing to do with building your body, creating your conscious mind and senses and soul; God did all of that. God created you out of Himself. Your body, mind, senses, and Soul are His, body, mind, senses and Soul. You just think you are separate from God and your brothers and sisters because you accepted the world view of others. You and God are One Being. All men and women are one being...God. God is one. God is not some long bearded Being that lives some where up in the clouds, God lives right with you in your body. God is yourself. You are God.

Reminding yourself that you are perfect... the Christ, puts you in contact with the Divine Mind. God's mind. Your real Mind. It is important to still the personal mind so that the Divine Mind may come forth. And the Voice that speaks to you from the Divine Mind is the Voice of your Holy Spirit. Your Inner Voice, your real self. The Christ of God.

Your Inner Voice is that "small still Voice" that lives in the silence of your inner world. Once you stop the random thoughts of your personal mind your Inner Voice will speak to you. This is not a long drawn out process. With a little practice you will begin to hear and recognize your Inner Voice and then it will no longer be necessary to meditate to make contact.

My Inner Voice speaks to me only about spiritual things: Truth, Love, Light, Life, Law, Forgiveness, Peace, and Kindness. And when It teaches me, It suggests that I do or try something... my Inner Voice never orders me to do anything. In writing this journal I quite often just sit and listen until my inner self inspires me with the words I write. I can feel the love and caring my real self has for this prodigal trying to return home.

As a beginner in these meditations, after you have calmed the mind, listen to the quality of the voices that are your thoughts, analyze the message and motives of these voices/thoughts. If these thought-voices cause you any pain, make you wince or want to draw back, they are not the Voice of your Inner Being.

Your Inner Voice is the 'Comforter' referred to in the scriptures, and is only going to speak to you, your separated self, your personality-ego, with love and kindness. Your real self wants you to return to It, and be free of all the misery and insanity of this world. "The kingdom of heaven lies within."

The Goal in Life is to Unite the Conscious Mind with the Soul. Stay on the path.

All of the above comes more naturally when you purify the body and the mind. "With purity, all spiritual lights, light themselves."

1-5-02
Day #5 of juice Fasting.

The following beautiful quote is from: The Life and Teaching of the Masters of the Far East, by Baird T. Spalding.

"Know ye not that Christ dwells within you and in all? Know ye not that your body is pure, perfect, young, beautiful, divine? Know ye not that God created you an exact image and likeness of Himself and gave you dominion over all things? You of yourself are always the Christ, the perfect Son of God, the only begotten Son of God, in whom the Father-Mother is well pleased. You are pure, perfect, holy, divine, one with God, all Good and each and every child has a right to claim this Sonship, this Divinity."

1-6-02
Day #6 of juice fasting. 5 AM. I am feeling pretty good. Slept well.
In the past when I would fast for seven days I would have a 'dream vision' on the sixth night. Then one night I had a vision that was very frightening and asked that the visions be stopped. I have had dream visions since warning me about something but not on the sixth night of a fast. I would like the dream visions on the sixth night of my fasts to return. Thank you. Amen

1-7-02
Day #7 of juice fasting. Feeling pretty well this morning. I had a bad spell last night for a couple of hours, 'Let me out of here!!!" but that went away after a short nap. All a person can do over rough spots is ride them out. It helps to pray.

I drank lots of juice and water during the day. I am surprised that I feel this well. I worked on the computer most of the day, did some laundry, kept the wood stove going and did the chores this evening. I have a few muscle aches and pains but nothing serious. I am having an occasional leg cramp at night. I am still rubbing my muscles down with a vibrator and taking an Epsom salts soak for a half hour or so once a day. Seems to help, I can feel relief afterwards.

To seek
For life
Turn inward
Because if
You seek
Life in
The world
You surely
Will lose It.

1-8-02
Day #8 of juice fasting. I feel like I have the flu again. Woke about 5am with a bad headache, my mind a jumble of wild thoughts caused by the elimination of toxic waste. I drink a mouthful of liquid acidophilus every morning to thwart any over growth of yeast (candida) which might be caused by the sugar in the orange and grapefruit juice that I am drinking during this fast.

After I went to bed last night I said affirmations timed with deep breathing. "I am the Christ" breathing in and, "I am one with God" breathing out. As I continued to say my affirmations my arms lifted upward and moved about, like I was dancing, gracefully timed with my breathing. I was relaxed, concentrating on my words and my arms seem to move about on their own.

My arm movements seem to express in motion the feeling of the words I am saying. This has happened many times before when I have been praying. It is a very pleasant experience, and it makes me feel more involved, like I am giving forth my prayer with my arm movements.

The following is from: DIVINE REVELATION by Susan Shumsky

Ecstatic Expressions of God: Dancing-Through.
" Dancing-through allows your spirit self to move your body in wonderful unique expressions of God.
The experience of dancing-through quickens the vibration of your body and enlivens and awakens your cells. Your body may begin to tingle all over or you may feel rushes of electrifying energy."

1-9-02
Day #9 of juice fasting. Juanita and I went to town shopping yesterday. I felt very well; better than most days in the past year. I am more optimistic now of overcoming my mercury poisoning and candida. I have been drinking lots of juice and water every day. And I drink a mouthful of liquid acidophilus when I first get up to counteract the yeast overgrowth caused by the sugar in the orange juice.

Later, I open and mix in a couple of capsules of calcium-magnesium citrate in my first glass of juice to overcome the leg cramps that I have been having most nights. This seems to be working because I don't have any candida symptoms and my legs have stopped cramping at night.

This is pure speculation, but, it seems that my personality-ego knows that it is under attack by my fasting to purify my body. It continually feeds me painful thoughts or memories of my past offenses toward others. My ego knows that my goal is to unite my conscious mind with my Soul, which would mean it's own demise.

So, it seems, my ego is trying to increase my guilt and lessen my self esteem, so that I will leave the path. But I know that what I have done in the ordinary world are just errors and do not affect my place in the Kingdom of Heaven. God continues to see me as his perfect, pure, divine creation.

This quote made by Jesus recorded in the, Essene Gospel of Peace Book I, about fasting, does not exactly fit my situation, but it is relevant.

"And now Satan sees that the true lord of your body returns, and that it is the end of his power. Wherefore, in his wrath he gathers his strength once again, that he may destroy your bodies before the coming of the lord."

1-10-02
Day #10 of juice fasting. I was very agitated last night but finally went to sleep. I woke up this morning feeling pretty well. Went to town shopping today.

1-11-02
Day #11 of juice fasting. Feeling fair, well enough to drive fifty miles to my computer lesson. I had a good lesson, it was a long trip home. Sleepy. I hope I don't start falling asleep and driving off the road again this year.

1-12-02
Day #12 of juice fasting.
Switched fast to water because acidophilus was holding up elimination by keeping my body locked in the nourishment mode.

1-13-20
Day #13 of juice fasting. OK this morning. The other day I saw a little globe of water caught on a leaf with the sun making it sparkle. We have a place on the back corner of our property where dozens of leaves often catch and hold little sparkling globes of water. I love standing there and moving just a little to see different globes light up.

The soul is like
A drop of water
Sitting on a leaf
Tiny crystal clear
Longing to join
The far ocean
To be yet again
Whole an dear.

1-14-02
Day #14 of juice fasting.
I feel fairly well today. Drinking some orange juice to see if I can do it without candida acting up.

1-15-02
Day #15 of juice fasting. Feeling well today. I experience some real cleansing last night with the passing of lots of mucus. It seems that I can drink the juice OK. I was feeling a bit like I would like to eat some food last night. So I juiced up a quart of orange juice and drank it over the next half hour. I felt full and satisfied afterwards and no longer craved food. I have been working steadily the past few days on my web page doing final editing and getting it ready to publish.

The seeker does not appear to live much differently than those living around them. Its a matter of quality of life and the goals they are trying to achieve, that sets them apart. The seeker works to maintain themselves and advance spiritually every day, quietly and without fanfare. They realize the necessity of maintaining a low profile and living a quiet peaceful life. To ascend and unite with their Soul is their only goal in life.

They know the path is straight, steep and narrow and a serious undertaking but they walk it confidently with a joyous heart. Every day is filled with awe and the wonder of discovery, and they can see with their soul-sight that the goal is just over there on the horizon. They know if these things are not happening in their life that they are doing something wrong and need to change. Life is the teacher, and never wrong. Stay on the Path.

1-16-02
Day #16 of juice fasting.
fasting. Early last evening I passed some tissue. Couldn't tell what it was, tumor or parasite. Didn't sleep well last night. I feel very strange this morning, empty, uncaring. Maybe lack of sleep. Still weigh around 265. I hope to lose a 85 pounds more during this fast, and keep it off by establishing a strict vegetarian diet afterwards. I am keeping this thought (plan) firmly in mind.

I had a cord of wood delivered today, stacked it under the porch. Feel better this afternoon.

1-17-02
Day #17 of juice fasting.
Didn't sleep well last night, so slept in late. I felt OK when I got up.

1-18-02
Day #18 of juice fasting. I was really sleepy this morning. I went to my computer lesson and did a bit of shopping after.

1-19-02
Day #19 of juice fasting. Cold today. There is deep snow in the mountains all around us. Just an inch or so on the valley floor. The temperature is below freezing at night but warms up into the low forties during the day. I feel pretty well this morning. I got really tired of orange and grapefruit juice so the past couple of days I have tried drinking canned tomato juice. A nice change but it doesn't work. Tomato juice has salt in it and makes me retain water. And it seems to stop the elimination cycle, so tomato juice is out.

1-20-02
Day #20 of juice fasting. Felt OK this morning. Feel a bit restless and uncomfortable this evening. Some words from a early seeker of the truth.

"The thought of truth led me on."

"I walked after it and did not wander."

"I received the face and fashion of a new person..."

"And all that have seen me were amazed and
I was regarded by them as a strange person."

Ode of Solomon

1-21-02
Day #21 of juice fasting. The first thing is to purify the physical body. Fasting is the easiest and surest way of doing this. The body needs to be purified to create a Holy temple for the Living God. The Living God is your true self which lives in the body with your personality/ego self, which has tried to live separate from God.

When the physical body is pure the God self can come forward and live and function in His Holy Temple and teach the personal self to be the Christ. With this training and the purification of the mind the Living God and the personal self can unite as One Being. The personal separated mind unites with the All Knowing Mind of the Soul. It is finished. One Being. This is the path to unite the conscious mind with the Soul.

1-22-02
Day #22 of juice fasting.
Purify the body by fasting, bathing and a pure diet.
Purify the mind with forgiveness, affirmations and prayer.
Seek to unite the conscious mind with the Soul by:
Living a Christ like life and right thought action;
Pray continually to replace the mental clutter in your personal mind,
Thank God for your life, and all his many blessings,
Bless your brothers and sisters and all Beings,
Praise God for all creation; His power, presence and knowledge,
Love and Worship your Creator, Almighty God, with all your heart and mind and Soul. Pray without ceasing, make your daily life a true prayer, And let your Love flow forth to everything, every minute of your life.

Be Love, in every word you speak,
Be Love, in every thought you think,
Be Love, in every act throughout the day,
Be Love, for it is the only way... to really Be.

1-23-02
Day #23 of juice fasting. Feeling well. I was very restless last night and didn't sleep well. Slept in until 10am.

The following is a quote from: The Life and Teaching of the Masters of the Far East.

Jesus said:

"When you amalgamate yourself with God, nothing is impossible to you. You not only have all the Father has but you are all the Father is. The Whole-I-Spirit in creative action abides in you. When you accept this, then you, as well as all others, will sing ALL HAIL, the power of the Christ name, not the name of Jesus, the personal, but the Christ."

"Let Angels prostrate fall; bring forth the royal diadem [Regal power and dignity] and crown Christ Lord of all. You do not crown the personal Jesus, you crown Christ; and Christ deserves the most magnificent of all diadems in the Christly crown. Their are no diadems to great or divine for the crown of the triumphant Christ."

"In all meekness, place the crown of Christ upon your head and, unless you yourself do this, no other can place it there for you."
[You have to realize the Christ yourself, no one else can do it for you.]

"You see, that whosoever will, may come. Come forth and become the triumphant Christ. Whosoever will, let them come."

1-24-02
Day #24 of juice fasting. I am feeling fairly well, a bit stretched or squeezed, as my cells and muscles press the toxins out. One thing I do occasionally (not more than once every two or three weeks) when I am fasting is to take a "Pleasant purge." A regular purge is usually something like a heaping teaspoon of Epsom salts in a glass of water and it goes through you like a whirlwind. It is just too violent.

When I am feeling, "stuffed up" I take a pleasant purge which is a large paper cup of fountain 7-UP with a small amount of ice. Don't drink it fast, just steady, and in about 45 minutes it will pass through you carrying all the stored up waste with it. When the first 7-UP passes through; I stop drinking and throw the rest of it away.

1-25-02
Day #25 of juice fasting. Feeling pretty good this morning. Computer lessons today. Computer lesson went well, I learned a lot, extra good session. The past few days it seems that I have been, "in the flow." I have opened the phone book twice to the exact listing I was looking for.

This morning I found a way to change a complicated setting on my computer on the first try. I had no idea what I was doing or why; but I got the correct results. "Thank you Lord, Guardian Angels, whoever takes care of small things like that, I really appreciate it. May I learn to do God's will in every thing I do. Amen."

1-26-02
Day #26 of juice fasting. Feeling well today, a bit restless. Wt. 258. The sign I received in September 26, 2001: "Warning, warning, be careful what you do," must have been a general caution, because I have had no problems to date. "God I Am one with your love and perfection. Amen." I have been very careful and will continue to be so.

The following excerpt is from Professor Arnold Ehret's book:
Rational Fasting,"For physical, mental and spiritual regeneration," first published in Germany in 1914.

Editors note:
"Professor Ehret... the man behind the book... used his system of nutritional behavior on thousands of men and women. The results were breathtaking. It frequently changing them into dynamic new and vital persons attaining peak mental and physical performance."

"SPIRITUAL REBIRTH THRU THE SUPERIOR FAST"

"All experts, except myself, believe you live on your [food] reserves during a fast. You, however, know now, that what is called metabolism is simply the elimination of waste."

"The Muslim or Hindu fakir, the greatest religious ascetic and faster in the world today, is usually very slender. I learned that more thoroughly cleansed the body is the easier it is to fast and the longer you can stand it. In other words, when you are free from all waste and poisons, and when no solid foods are taken, then the human body functions for the first time in its life without encountering obstructions."

" The elasticity of the entire tissue system and of the internal organs, especially of the spongy lungs, responds to a single intake of breath with an entirely different vibration and an efficiency never known before. You ascend into a higher state of physical, mental and spiritual being. I call that the "Superior Fast."

"When you eat only the foods which I recommend, [Fresh fruits and green vegetables] then your blood will be regenerated miraculously and your mind will function extremely well. Your former life will take on the appearance of a dream, and for the first time in your existence your conscience awakens to real self-consciousness."

"Your mind, your thinking, your ideals, your aspirations and your philosophy will change fundamentally for the better. Your Soul will shout with joy and triumph over all misery of life. For the first time you will feel a vibration of vitality thru your body like a slight electric current that shakes you delightfully."

"You will realize that fasting and superior fasting (and not volumes of psychology and philosophy) are the real and only key to a superior life; to the revelation of a superior spiritual world."

1-27-02
Day #27 of juice fasting. I am feeling very well. Slight pain in the center of my chest. Cleansing in the area of my hiatal hernia. Six inches of snow on the valley floor today. 38 degrees F.

The following quote is from the author of, The Life and Teaching of the Masters of the Far East, Braid T. Spalding.

"The reason man's life has seemingly gone into decay is that he has disregarded the basic fact of life. The basic fact of life is that the entire system of the Universe is one single unit and that man is an integral part of this system. He is in no sense separated from it and it is only his notion that he is an isolated being that has lost for him his rightful place and authority."

1-28-02
Day #28 of juice fasting. Feeling well. All my life I have liked to read. In the past I read novels for entertainment, like most people watch TV. Since the first of the year when I started this fast I have decided to read only spiritual books or books that contain certain 'how to' information. So far this has worked out well.

1-29-02
Day #29 of juice fasting. I am feeling very well again today. I have noticed the past few days that my senses of sight, hearing and smell have been clearing up and improving.

The following is a quote by Albert Einstein that expresses the same thought as Mr. Spalding above.

"A human being is a part of the whole called by us 'the universe", a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separate from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening the circle of understanding and compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."

1-30-02 and 1-31-02
Days #30&31 of juice fasting. I had a severe computer problem. The machine would start up but would now allow me to access the desktop. I had to take it to my friend to fix. Fast continues about the same.